 clipped from news.cnet.com
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Saturday, 10 January 2009
Twitter netwroking
NETworking
Following 
Device updates OFF
Sunday, 17 August 2008
Comix 10
cmx 10
 clipped from www.your3dsource.com
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Sunday, 19 August 2007
Sunday, 1 April 2007
The Casual Cruelty of Positive Intentions
The Casual Cruelty of Positive Intentions
For every time we raise our voices,
Insisting that you have no choices;
For every unkind thought or word
When you’re just asking to be heard;
For every unheard, silent scream
That underpins low self-esteem;
Each time we call you dumb or slow,
We think that that will help you grow.
The snide remarks that just slip out,
To fuel and reinforce your doubt;
Each puerile joke at your expense
Suggesting lack of common sense,
Each time we mock your futile struggle
As others join us in a chuckle,
And say, How thick, and oh, so slow!”
We only mean to help you grow.
Each well-aimed poisoned arrow
Should keep you on the straight and narrow;
Each barbed and bitchy, witty dart
To pierce and break your yearning heart;
Each look of meanness, every frown,
To close you off and put you down;
Each looming shadow that we throw,
We really think will help you grow.
Every somewhat callous laugh
As you stumble on your path,
Whatever pain it stirs in you,
We hope that something will get through.
We’ll call you weird and make you yelp,
We are convinced that it will help,
It gives us such an inner glow,
Each time we show you how to grow.
And when we nag or curse and cuss,
So you’ll play less and do your chores,
Reduce the noise and stop the fuss,
Stay on track, complete the course.
Look and listen, then you’ll know,
We trying hard to help you grow.
When you’re frightened and entombed
In a cold and lonely cell-like room,
And when your beating heart is calm,
You’ll see we do not mean you harm.
You’ll know we have a master plan,
Although you may not understand.
And though the hours drag too slow,
The time will pass, and you will grow
For every dusty dream that shatter
Because we just don’t think it matters,
Your every hope and aspiration
Will be dismissed with irritation,
We can insist we didn’t know,
We think it kind; you think us foe!
We can’t submit or say we’re sorry,
Admitting doubt, concern or worry.
Or allow these things we mention
To cast aside our good intention.
You ask for ‘Yes’, we’ll answer ‘No!’
In our attempt to help you grow!
And if you feel hemmed in or trapped,
Sit down, fit in and shut your trap.
If, time to time, you can’t get through,
Think, feel and function like we do!
Don’t make waves or cause commotion,
Or ever show the deep emotion,
Why? Just because we told you so,
That’s all you need to help you grow!
We know our parents loved us too,
Did all they could to help us through,
Now, it’s our duty; it’s our turn,
We learnt that hurting helps you learn!
And because we’re older, and we’re wise,
We’re going to cut you down to size.
We were treated in this way,
Which makes us glad (or so we say!)
It didn’t hurt us, not one bit,
Although, at times, we feel like shit,
And if we’ve little self-esteem,
Still, we can blame you when we scream.
And, later, you’ll be glad we did.
When you find you treat your kids
In just the way we treated you,
You’ll know our words and deeds were true.
And you will thank us, looking back,
When you, in turn, snip, snipe and smack
And you will know the way to go,
To help your little monsters grow!
For every time we raise our voices,
Insisting that you have no choices;
For every unkind thought or word
When you’re just asking to be heard;
For every unheard, silent scream
That underpins low self-esteem;
Each time we call you dumb or slow,
We think that that will help you grow.
The snide remarks that just slip out,
To fuel and reinforce your doubt;
Each puerile joke at your expense
Suggesting lack of common sense,
Each time we mock your futile struggle
As others join us in a chuckle,
And say, How thick, and oh, so slow!”
We only mean to help you grow.
Each well-aimed poisoned arrow
Should keep you on the straight and narrow;
Each barbed and bitchy, witty dart
To pierce and break your yearning heart;
Each look of meanness, every frown,
To close you off and put you down;
Each looming shadow that we throw,
We really think will help you grow.
Every somewhat callous laugh
As you stumble on your path,
Whatever pain it stirs in you,
We hope that something will get through.
We’ll call you weird and make you yelp,
We are convinced that it will help,
It gives us such an inner glow,
Each time we show you how to grow.
And when we nag or curse and cuss,
So you’ll play less and do your chores,
Reduce the noise and stop the fuss,
Stay on track, complete the course.
Look and listen, then you’ll know,
We trying hard to help you grow.
When you’re frightened and entombed
In a cold and lonely cell-like room,
And when your beating heart is calm,
You’ll see we do not mean you harm.
You’ll know we have a master plan,
Although you may not understand.
And though the hours drag too slow,
The time will pass, and you will grow
For every dusty dream that shatter
Because we just don’t think it matters,
Your every hope and aspiration
Will be dismissed with irritation,
We can insist we didn’t know,
We think it kind; you think us foe!
We can’t submit or say we’re sorry,
Admitting doubt, concern or worry.
Or allow these things we mention
To cast aside our good intention.
You ask for ‘Yes’, we’ll answer ‘No!’
In our attempt to help you grow!
And if you feel hemmed in or trapped,
Sit down, fit in and shut your trap.
If, time to time, you can’t get through,
Think, feel and function like we do!
Don’t make waves or cause commotion,
Or ever show the deep emotion,
Why? Just because we told you so,
That’s all you need to help you grow!
We know our parents loved us too,
Did all they could to help us through,
Now, it’s our duty; it’s our turn,
We learnt that hurting helps you learn!
And because we’re older, and we’re wise,
We’re going to cut you down to size.
We were treated in this way,
Which makes us glad (or so we say!)
It didn’t hurt us, not one bit,
Although, at times, we feel like shit,
And if we’ve little self-esteem,
Still, we can blame you when we scream.
And, later, you’ll be glad we did.
When you find you treat your kids
In just the way we treated you,
You’ll know our words and deeds were true.
And you will thank us, looking back,
When you, in turn, snip, snipe and smack
And you will know the way to go,
To help your little monsters grow!
Saturday, 24 March 2007
Thursday, 22 March 2007
Paying attention to not paying attention
NEW YORK - Researchers are studying a pervasive psychological phenomenon in which oh man we've got to finish doing the taxes this weekend ... C'mon, admit it. Your train of thought has derailed like that many times. It's just mind-wandering. We all do it, and surprisingly often, whether we're struggling to avoid it or not.
Mainstream psychology hasn't paid much attention to this common mental habit. But a spate of new studies is chipping away at its mysteries and scientists say the topic is beginning to gain visibility.
Someday, such research may turn up ways to help students keep their focus on textbooks and lectures, and drivers to keep their minds on the road. It may reveal ways to reap payoffs from the habit.
And it might shed light on attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, which can include an unusually severe inability to focus that causes trouble in multiple areas of life.
more
Mainstream psychology hasn't paid much attention to this common mental habit. But a spate of new studies is chipping away at its mysteries and scientists say the topic is beginning to gain visibility.
Someday, such research may turn up ways to help students keep their focus on textbooks and lectures, and drivers to keep their minds on the road. It may reveal ways to reap payoffs from the habit.
And it might shed light on attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, which can include an unusually severe inability to focus that causes trouble in multiple areas of life.
more
Wednesday, 21 March 2007
Institute of General Semantics
IGS founded 1938 by Alfred Korzybski
How well do you integrate ... what goes on 'in here' ... with what goes on 'out there'?
When we talk about wanting to become better critical thinkers, or more discriminating individuals, or simply more sane human beings, what we're talking about concerns questions such as:
How well do we 'interface' with the world around us?
How appropriately do we interpret what goes on outside our skin?
How appropriately do we interpret what goes on inside our skin?
Do we purposely and consistently apply what we 'know' about what goes on 'out there'?
Do we purposely and consistently apply what we 'know' about what goes on 'in here'?
This short tutorial will re-acquaint you with some notions you may find familiar, or "obvious". Perhaps it will introduce you to some new ways of 'thinking'. And the resulting implications might help you to be more critical, more discriminating ... and, perhaps, eventually more sane.
Page 2 of 17
Page 2 of 17
Copyright © 2005 Institute of General Semantics,
except where noted. All rights reserved in all media.
Saturday, 17 March 2007
Bush: Insult to Manicheans
Calling Bush's Views Manichean Is an Insult to the Manicheans
By Dan Skinner
Mr. Skinner is an instructor of political theory at Hunter College at the City University of New York. He is a PhD student of Political Theory at the City University of New York Graduate Center, focusing on the relationship between language and politics.
This is an excellent article and well worth following the link to read it all. The .... show where sections are missing.
Since George W. Bush’s “Axis of Evil” speech on January 29, 2002, his polarizing politics have often been characterized in terms such as a “Manichean struggle with a single overarching enemy called terrorism” (Washington Post, April 19, 2002). Since September 11 the term “Manichean” has been bandied about carelessly in the media as though it were a mere synonym for “binary” or “polar”—suitable for use in describing any worldview comprised of forces of “Good” and “Evil.” A closer look at the etymology of the term, however, reveals that we might have been better off had we elected an actually Manichean president.
The Manicheans were a syncretic religious sect led by Mani, a Buddhist-influenced ascetic born in Baghdad in the 3rd century AD. Like Bush, the Manicheans carved the spiritual world up into two categories—Good and Evil—but, as orthodox dualists, they believed that the forces of Good and Evil were not engaged in some continuous and messianic struggle, but rather that their contrasting presence was the very basis of the spiritual order. ..................
Bush’s public pronouncements of faith have somewhat successfully hidden from the public the reality of how unchristian his particular form of dualism is. The so-called “Doctors” of Catholic theology—Augustine, Aquinas, and Anselm—rejected any such battle between Good and Evil .............
Ironically, if there is any theological tradition that Bush’s politics embody it is that of another ancient Persian religion, Zoroastrianism—but with a twist. .......... The Zoroastrian quest was spiritual, which eliminated force or violence as options for obtaining peace.
It should be noted that Zoroaster was the same man that Friedrich Nietzsche called Zarathustra, from whose ontology Nietzsche challenged enlightenment conceptions of progress, shunned democracy and surmised that the weak were albatrosses around society’s neck. Nietzsche took the peaceful and hopeful philosophy of Zoroastrianism and stripped it of its optimism, leaving behind not the triumph of Good over Evil, but conflict itself. ........
This brief theological excursion is only politically relevant today because modern politicians such as George W. Bush have made it so. In drawing upon a dualistic political framework (“Either you are with us or you are with the terrorists”), Bush has positioned himself as the arbiter of good versus evil, a struggle which has come to define the public face of his foreign policy.
The major problem with this mode of thinking is that, aside from Bush’s role as ontological authority, his rigid dualistic politics forces yet another logical distinction: friends and enemies. In Bush’s Zoroastrian world, life is defined not by positive categories that envision a better world, but by a preoccupation with destruction of the Other. ....................
The student of politics will also recognize the more stark historical manifestation of Bush’s ontology. It was the patron philosopher of the Nazi party, Carl Schmitt, who suggested that the state has one essential function: distinguishing friends from enemies. This friend-enemy distinction has two classifying functions: f............................
In today’s political climate the question is often asked, when or how does this end? The honest observer would be forced to acknowledge that an end is unattainable so long as dualisms remain the ontological building blocks of our political understanding. ............................
Manicheans—those great dualists who gave the Catholic theologians such a hard time—at least had the vision necessary to find non-destructive meaning in their distinction between Good and Evil. The permanence of these forces allowed individuals to reconcile themselves with the spiritual world as they found it, and not attempt to do violence to what they saw as the very structure of the world, the opposing forces that “give life meaning.” ..................
Underlying all of this is the question that might follow the construction of any dualism: Did Bush get the categories right? Is he sure who is Good and who is Evil? If not, he is energizing a high-stakes dualistic game based on false distinctions. ......................
By Dan Skinner
Mr. Skinner is an instructor of political theory at Hunter College at the City University of New York. He is a PhD student of Political Theory at the City University of New York Graduate Center, focusing on the relationship between language and politics.
This is an excellent article and well worth following the link to read it all. The .... show where sections are missing.
Since George W. Bush’s “Axis of Evil” speech on January 29, 2002, his polarizing politics have often been characterized in terms such as a “Manichean struggle with a single overarching enemy called terrorism” (Washington Post, April 19, 2002). Since September 11 the term “Manichean” has been bandied about carelessly in the media as though it were a mere synonym for “binary” or “polar”—suitable for use in describing any worldview comprised of forces of “Good” and “Evil.” A closer look at the etymology of the term, however, reveals that we might have been better off had we elected an actually Manichean president.
The Manicheans were a syncretic religious sect led by Mani, a Buddhist-influenced ascetic born in Baghdad in the 3rd century AD. Like Bush, the Manicheans carved the spiritual world up into two categories—Good and Evil—but, as orthodox dualists, they believed that the forces of Good and Evil were not engaged in some continuous and messianic struggle, but rather that their contrasting presence was the very basis of the spiritual order. ..................
Bush’s public pronouncements of faith have somewhat successfully hidden from the public the reality of how unchristian his particular form of dualism is. The so-called “Doctors” of Catholic theology—Augustine, Aquinas, and Anselm—rejected any such battle between Good and Evil .............
Ironically, if there is any theological tradition that Bush’s politics embody it is that of another ancient Persian religion, Zoroastrianism—but with a twist. .......... The Zoroastrian quest was spiritual, which eliminated force or violence as options for obtaining peace.
It should be noted that Zoroaster was the same man that Friedrich Nietzsche called Zarathustra, from whose ontology Nietzsche challenged enlightenment conceptions of progress, shunned democracy and surmised that the weak were albatrosses around society’s neck. Nietzsche took the peaceful and hopeful philosophy of Zoroastrianism and stripped it of its optimism, leaving behind not the triumph of Good over Evil, but conflict itself. ........
This brief theological excursion is only politically relevant today because modern politicians such as George W. Bush have made it so. In drawing upon a dualistic political framework (“Either you are with us or you are with the terrorists”), Bush has positioned himself as the arbiter of good versus evil, a struggle which has come to define the public face of his foreign policy.
The major problem with this mode of thinking is that, aside from Bush’s role as ontological authority, his rigid dualistic politics forces yet another logical distinction: friends and enemies. In Bush’s Zoroastrian world, life is defined not by positive categories that envision a better world, but by a preoccupation with destruction of the Other. ....................
The student of politics will also recognize the more stark historical manifestation of Bush’s ontology. It was the patron philosopher of the Nazi party, Carl Schmitt, who suggested that the state has one essential function: distinguishing friends from enemies. This friend-enemy distinction has two classifying functions: f............................
In today’s political climate the question is often asked, when or how does this end? The honest observer would be forced to acknowledge that an end is unattainable so long as dualisms remain the ontological building blocks of our political understanding. ............................
Manicheans—those great dualists who gave the Catholic theologians such a hard time—at least had the vision necessary to find non-destructive meaning in their distinction between Good and Evil. The permanence of these forces allowed individuals to reconcile themselves with the spiritual world as they found it, and not attempt to do violence to what they saw as the very structure of the world, the opposing forces that “give life meaning.” ..................
Underlying all of this is the question that might follow the construction of any dualism: Did Bush get the categories right? Is he sure who is Good and who is Evil? If not, he is energizing a high-stakes dualistic game based on false distinctions. ......................
Welcome
<<< left column is a list of my other Blogs.
I would be delighted if you leave comments!
go well!
I would be delighted if you leave comments!
go well!
Sunday, 11 March 2007
emotional intelligence
Having emotional intelligence means being able to manage your own emotions effectively and being able to respond appropriately to the emotions of others. Managing your emotions does not mean denying or suppressing them. Try the Emotional Intelligence Quiz to see how well you handle your emotions and other people's.
Managing your emotions constructively - a few tips
Make a list of your negative emotions, what triggers them, how they impact your behaviour and what effect they have on others around you.
Without suppressing or denying them, strive to control the most negative effects on you and others.
To control your negative feelings, the first step is to acknowledge that two factors are involved - (1) some external provocation and (2) your reaction to it. If you cannot control the former, work on the latter. Convince yourself that you are free to choose how you react to external events. If you really work at it, you can see the funny side or the good in almost anything negative.
Writing down what is bugging you can make it easier to deal with it.
Separate what you can change from what you cannot change and make a plan to change what you can.
For things you cannot change, make a list of the positive aspects of the situation to balance your negative view.
Make a list of your positive emotions and figure out what prompts them. Channel your positive emotions into productive activity. For example, if you are most enthusiastic, energetic or optimistic in certain rooms or at certain times of the day or week or with particular people, try to make more use of such situations to get more done.
Ask others for feedback on how well you are managing your emotions.
Thank people for constructive feedback, try not to argue or defend yourself.
Monitor your reactions to situations and try to determine why you reacted as you did and how you could have reacted differently.
Responding appropriately to the emotions of others
Observe closely the emotional flavour of people's speech and behaviour.
If people are enthusiastic, try to respond in kind.
If they are down, show an appropriate level of empathy.
Notice disparities between words and body language and act accordingly.
Avoid over-reacting - getting angry just because someone else is angry.
Try not to let the negativity of others undermine your positive feelings.
Build on the enthusiasm, empathy or support of others instead of dismissing it.
Managing your emotions constructively - a few tips
Make a list of your negative emotions, what triggers them, how they impact your behaviour and what effect they have on others around you.
Without suppressing or denying them, strive to control the most negative effects on you and others.
To control your negative feelings, the first step is to acknowledge that two factors are involved - (1) some external provocation and (2) your reaction to it. If you cannot control the former, work on the latter. Convince yourself that you are free to choose how you react to external events. If you really work at it, you can see the funny side or the good in almost anything negative.
Writing down what is bugging you can make it easier to deal with it.
Separate what you can change from what you cannot change and make a plan to change what you can.
For things you cannot change, make a list of the positive aspects of the situation to balance your negative view.
Make a list of your positive emotions and figure out what prompts them. Channel your positive emotions into productive activity. For example, if you are most enthusiastic, energetic or optimistic in certain rooms or at certain times of the day or week or with particular people, try to make more use of such situations to get more done.
Ask others for feedback on how well you are managing your emotions.
Thank people for constructive feedback, try not to argue or defend yourself.
Monitor your reactions to situations and try to determine why you reacted as you did and how you could have reacted differently.
Responding appropriately to the emotions of others
Observe closely the emotional flavour of people's speech and behaviour.
If people are enthusiastic, try to respond in kind.
If they are down, show an appropriate level of empathy.
Notice disparities between words and body language and act accordingly.
Avoid over-reacting - getting angry just because someone else is angry.
Try not to let the negativity of others undermine your positive feelings.
Build on the enthusiasm, empathy or support of others instead of dismissing it.
Monday, 5 March 2007
Things to bear in mind
- If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
- Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
- Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
- It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
- A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
- Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
- Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
- No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
- A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
- Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
- Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
- Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
- There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
- Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
- By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
- Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
- Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.
- If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
I don't know the origins of this, but whoever wrote these, thank you so very much! ;-)
Saturday, 3 March 2007
Inspiring Quotes
"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." --Buddha
Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.--John Wooden
If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
Albert Einstein
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning. Albert Einstein
"I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours."
~Nicholas Sparks, "The Notebook"
"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand."
- Emily Kimbrough
Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
"To the world, you are only one person. But to one person, you may mean the world."
"Know your limits - but never stop trying to exceed them."
-- Anonymous
"Good friends are good for your health."
-- Irwin Sorason
"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them."
- Dr. Denis Waitley
"Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation."
- Roberto Assagioli
"If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else."
- Lawrence J. Peter
"It's hard to beat a person that never gives up."
- Babe Ruth
"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose."
-- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent."
-- John Donne
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
-- Carl Gustav Jung
"No one ever drowned in sweat."
-- U.S. Marine saying
"I think we need to understand one thing; the things we want out of life, our desires, have to be stronger than the things we're afraid of - if we're serious about being successful."
- Mack Newton
"Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of."
-- Charles Richards
"Everyone is an athlete. The only difference is that some of us are in training and some are not."
-- George Sheehan
"Fear less, hope more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours."
- Swedish Proverb
"The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others."
- Sharon Anthony Bower
"When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life."
- Greg Anderson
"True enjoyment comes from activity of the mind and exercise of the body; the two are ever united."
- Humboldt
"No vision and you perish; no ideal, and you're lost; your heart must ever cherish some faith at any cost. Some hope, some dream to cling to, some rainbow in the sky, some melody to sing to, some service that is high."
- Harriet Du Autermont
"Inspiring people are vitamins for our spirits. They come in all kinds of disguises and descriptions. If you open your heart to being inspired, they will appear."
-- Sark
"Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching..."
- Anonymous
"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live"
-- Flora Whittemore
"To insure good health: Eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life."
-- William Londen
"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."
- Anonymous
"Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt."
- William Shakespeare
"Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak."
-- Epictetus
"In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive."
--Lee Iacocca
" Behold the turtle, he only makes progress when he sticks his neck out."
--James Bryant Conant
"Who I am really keeps surprising me."
--Nikki Giovanni
"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling."
--Margrart Lee Runbeck
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"In doing what we ought to, we deserve no praise."
--Anonymous
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
--Harvey Fierstein
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The groundwork of all happiness is good health."
--Leigh Hunt
"The best antique is an old friend."
--Anonymous
"What reason weaves, by passion is undone."
--Alexander Pope
"You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose."
--Gandhi
"Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success."
--Anonymous
Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life; love shouldn't be one of them.
"I don't believe in failure."
--Oprah Winfrey
"If you want to make good use of your time, you've got to know what's most important and then give it all you got."
--Lee Iacocca
"Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is in the
doing, not the getting - in the trying, not the triumph." -Wynn Davis
"Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made."
--Wayne Dyer
Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.--John Wooden
If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
Albert Einstein
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning. Albert Einstein
"I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours."
~Nicholas Sparks, "The Notebook"
"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand."
- Emily Kimbrough
Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
"To the world, you are only one person. But to one person, you may mean the world."
"Know your limits - but never stop trying to exceed them."
-- Anonymous
"Good friends are good for your health."
-- Irwin Sorason
"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them."
- Dr. Denis Waitley
"Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation."
- Roberto Assagioli
"If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else."
- Lawrence J. Peter
"It's hard to beat a person that never gives up."
- Babe Ruth
"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose."
-- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent."
-- John Donne
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
-- Carl Gustav Jung
"No one ever drowned in sweat."
-- U.S. Marine saying
"I think we need to understand one thing; the things we want out of life, our desires, have to be stronger than the things we're afraid of - if we're serious about being successful."
- Mack Newton
"Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of."
-- Charles Richards
"Everyone is an athlete. The only difference is that some of us are in training and some are not."
-- George Sheehan
"Fear less, hope more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours."
- Swedish Proverb
"The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others."
- Sharon Anthony Bower
"When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life."
- Greg Anderson
"True enjoyment comes from activity of the mind and exercise of the body; the two are ever united."
- Humboldt
"No vision and you perish; no ideal, and you're lost; your heart must ever cherish some faith at any cost. Some hope, some dream to cling to, some rainbow in the sky, some melody to sing to, some service that is high."
- Harriet Du Autermont
"Inspiring people are vitamins for our spirits. They come in all kinds of disguises and descriptions. If you open your heart to being inspired, they will appear."
-- Sark
"Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching..."
- Anonymous
"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live"
-- Flora Whittemore
"To insure good health: Eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life."
-- William Londen
"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."
- Anonymous
"Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt."
- William Shakespeare
"Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak."
-- Epictetus
"In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive."
--Lee Iacocca
" Behold the turtle, he only makes progress when he sticks his neck out."
--James Bryant Conant
"Who I am really keeps surprising me."
--Nikki Giovanni
"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling."
--Margrart Lee Runbeck
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"In doing what we ought to, we deserve no praise."
--Anonymous
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
--Harvey Fierstein
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The groundwork of all happiness is good health."
--Leigh Hunt
"The best antique is an old friend."
--Anonymous
"What reason weaves, by passion is undone."
--Alexander Pope
"You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose."
--Gandhi
"Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success."
--Anonymous
Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life; love shouldn't be one of them.
"I don't believe in failure."
--Oprah Winfrey
"If you want to make good use of your time, you've got to know what's most important and then give it all you got."
--Lee Iacocca
"Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is in the
doing, not the getting - in the trying, not the triumph." -Wynn Davis
"Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made."
--Wayne Dyer
Wednesday, 21 February 2007
Michael Devlin, who abducted two boys
Michael Devlin, a year old Missouri man, abducted the two boys. Now the prosecutor has come forward with sodomy charges against him.
It's a bad, sad situation!
I once worked with a teenage boy who told me that he would have to be gay because he had been abused when younger. I asked him why he would 'have to' be gay, and he said that all abused children turned into abusers so he dare not have children ... etc.
I eventually reassured him that, whilst most if not all abusers have probably been abused, not all abused children become abusers.
My point here is that, if abusing someone is a result of being abused, although it does not excuse the abuse, does it - should it invite a degree of understanding - if not compassion?
If the answer is 'NO!', should we warn any children who are rescued or run away from a traumatic situation that our compassion for their pain will not last?
Should we warn them that, if they don't get healed before, what - 16? 18? - they will be further vilified for the effects of their early trauma?
On another tack, many gay people (claim to) know they were gay when they were very young, or at least to have been aware of their inclinations even if they could not have labelled them.
If that is the case then it must also be the case that some very young gay people will be curious and maybe even seek or initiate experiences to satisfy their curiosity, if nothing else.
Mostly, of course, they are likely to find peers or maybe siblings to experiment with. Some, however, might gravitate toward older persons.
A 15 year old sibling or school fellow is older for, say, a 12 year old.
There might well be a mutual attraction - and it might well be that either or both outgrow those homoerotic or homosexual leanings.
If, however, that youngster is drawn toward a significantly older person, the latter has a burden of responsibility and of law, if not a moral imperative, to help the child understand that such alliances should not develop into anything sexual.
If the adult reciprocates the feelings, he should still resist the urge to act on them. If he is incapable of acting in an appropriate way, then he may well pose a danger to other, more vulnerable people. and that needs to be taken in to consideration when deciding how to 'deal with' him.
If he is also immature, and deeply traumatised by past experiences, and lonely in his sexuality, he might respond to displays of affection to such an extent that the line is crossed.
If that happens, he might be so disgusted with himself - or to prevent it happening - he might seek death at his own hands, as do so many young gay people who are reared by, for example, hate-filled Christians.
It is so easy to make every thing seem like a simple dichotomy - good/bad, right/wrong, sinner/saint, me/you, them/us, love/hate - and doing so often makes us talk and act with out concern for the hurt and history of the people whom we judge unworthy of compassion.
That doesn't mean we have to like or agree with anything they have done.
But, as our hatred seeps through, we demonstrate our own capacity for feelings that distance us not only from those we revile, but from our own humanity, which is far more pernicious that an inbility to empathise with people whose actions, though vile and possibly wicked, might ensue from a hate filled legacy.
The common factor being hatred, which is a powerfully negative and destructive force, regardless of whether it comes from the godless or the god-fearing.
Nothing makes the systematic abuse of any one, especially children, acceptable, but I find it hard to tell the difference, in principle at least, between those sick people who violate children, and those who, in the name of their god, advocate and, albeit with silence, encourage and implicitly condone vicious attacks and outright murder.
It reminds me of the deceit and (self?) delusion of the worst kind of racist slave owners!
go well
It's a bad, sad situation!
I once worked with a teenage boy who told me that he would have to be gay because he had been abused when younger. I asked him why he would 'have to' be gay, and he said that all abused children turned into abusers so he dare not have children ... etc.
I eventually reassured him that, whilst most if not all abusers have probably been abused, not all abused children become abusers.
My point here is that, if abusing someone is a result of being abused, although it does not excuse the abuse, does it - should it invite a degree of understanding - if not compassion?
If the answer is 'NO!', should we warn any children who are rescued or run away from a traumatic situation that our compassion for their pain will not last?
Should we warn them that, if they don't get healed before, what - 16? 18? - they will be further vilified for the effects of their early trauma?
On another tack, many gay people (claim to) know they were gay when they were very young, or at least to have been aware of their inclinations even if they could not have labelled them.
If that is the case then it must also be the case that some very young gay people will be curious and maybe even seek or initiate experiences to satisfy their curiosity, if nothing else.
Mostly, of course, they are likely to find peers or maybe siblings to experiment with. Some, however, might gravitate toward older persons.
A 15 year old sibling or school fellow is older for, say, a 12 year old.
There might well be a mutual attraction - and it might well be that either or both outgrow those homoerotic or homosexual leanings.
If, however, that youngster is drawn toward a significantly older person, the latter has a burden of responsibility and of law, if not a moral imperative, to help the child understand that such alliances should not develop into anything sexual.
If the adult reciprocates the feelings, he should still resist the urge to act on them. If he is incapable of acting in an appropriate way, then he may well pose a danger to other, more vulnerable people. and that needs to be taken in to consideration when deciding how to 'deal with' him.
If he is also immature, and deeply traumatised by past experiences, and lonely in his sexuality, he might respond to displays of affection to such an extent that the line is crossed.
If that happens, he might be so disgusted with himself - or to prevent it happening - he might seek death at his own hands, as do so many young gay people who are reared by, for example, hate-filled Christians.
It is so easy to make every thing seem like a simple dichotomy - good/bad, right/wrong, sinner/saint, me/you, them/us, love/hate - and doing so often makes us talk and act with out concern for the hurt and history of the people whom we judge unworthy of compassion.
That doesn't mean we have to like or agree with anything they have done.
But, as our hatred seeps through, we demonstrate our own capacity for feelings that distance us not only from those we revile, but from our own humanity, which is far more pernicious that an inbility to empathise with people whose actions, though vile and possibly wicked, might ensue from a hate filled legacy.
The common factor being hatred, which is a powerfully negative and destructive force, regardless of whether it comes from the godless or the god-fearing.
Nothing makes the systematic abuse of any one, especially children, acceptable, but I find it hard to tell the difference, in principle at least, between those sick people who violate children, and those who, in the name of their god, advocate and, albeit with silence, encourage and implicitly condone vicious attacks and outright murder.
It reminds me of the deceit and (self?) delusion of the worst kind of racist slave owners!
go well
Monday, 19 February 2007
Baby Boomer Survivors
Don't know who wrote it, but how true it rings!!
And what nostalgia it invites!
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets…not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because ……. WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms.......WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good……
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
Author Unknown
And what nostalgia it invites!
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets…not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because ……. WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms.......WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good……
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
Author Unknown
Saturday, 10 February 2007
Iraq Veterans Against the War
This powerful and moving piece of writing by an excellent writer conveys something of the futility and pain of being a soldier who starts as an idealist, then realises that he, and most of the people serving in the current war, have been lied to and are considered readily disposable.
Soldier Voices! was created by Ronn Cantu, the author of Iraq Veterans Against the War, as a forum for soldiers to speak their minds on the war and share their Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder experiences. It has become a forum for service members (from all branches) and civilans alike to debate the Iraq war. There are current and former Soldiers, Marines, Airmen (no Seamen yet), Iraq vets, Vietnam vets, dependants and civilians (American and foreign).
Soldier Voices! was created by Ronn Cantu, the author of Iraq Veterans Against the War, as a forum for soldiers to speak their minds on the war and share their Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder experiences. It has become a forum for service members (from all branches) and civilans alike to debate the Iraq war. There are current and former Soldiers, Marines, Airmen (no Seamen yet), Iraq vets, Vietnam vets, dependants and civilians (American and foreign).
Things to discuss before getting married!
There are matters requiring the emotional intelligence that can be generated with Consideration, Respect, Attentiveness, Fairness, Time and a Yearning for courage, responsiveness, assertiveness, focus and tenderness.
Intelligent optimism is also desirable.
Intelligent optimism is NOT the avoidance strategy of "Oh, don't worry, I will always love you!" or, "I promise you, everything is going to be OK!" or, "Why do you always wants to think about the negative?" or, "Don't you trust me?".
If one party is resistant and reluctant to engage in discussion on these issues, and the other sees the merits of such discussion, that suggests that a profound difference of attitude, perhaps of beliefs and values, already exists.
If that difference cannot be resolved, expect real problems later on, certainly after the passion wanes, if not long before.
To enable the discussion to flow well, it can be useful to agree ways to structure the process.
To give just one example, each person speaks without interruption for a set amount of time. Then the partner can ask questions - then swap, and so on.
Relationship experts suggest that couples explore the following - and I strongly reccommend that each person puts their thoughts in writing before you start the in-depth debate.
Intelligent optimism is also desirable.
Intelligent optimism is NOT the avoidance strategy of "Oh, don't worry, I will always love you!" or, "I promise you, everything is going to be OK!" or, "Why do you always wants to think about the negative?" or, "Don't you trust me?".
If one party is resistant and reluctant to engage in discussion on these issues, and the other sees the merits of such discussion, that suggests that a profound difference of attitude, perhaps of beliefs and values, already exists.
If that difference cannot be resolved, expect real problems later on, certainly after the passion wanes, if not long before.
To enable the discussion to flow well, it can be useful to agree ways to structure the process.
To give just one example, each person speaks without interruption for a set amount of time. Then the partner can ask questions - then swap, and so on.
Relationship experts suggest that couples explore the following - and I strongly reccommend that each person puts their thoughts in writing before you start the in-depth debate.
- How important is it for each of us to become a parent?
- How will we share the responsibilities, chores and burdens of parenthood?
- How clear are we about each other’s financial obligations and goals?
- In what do our ideas about spending and saving mesh or clash?
- What are our respective expectations for maintaining the household?
- How will we decide and maintain managing the chores?
- What do we need to know and to share about our physical and mental health histories?
- What does each of us want, need and expect in terms of displays of affection?
- What inhibits either of us from comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
- Will there be a television in the bedroom?
- Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
- How clear is our mutual and respective understanding of our spiritual beliefs and needs?
- What have we agreed about our children exposure to religious/moral education?
- How do we feel about other’s friends?
- How do we feel about each other’s parents?
- What, if any, concerns do we have about our parents interfering in the relationship?
- If they do, what might prevent us discussing it before it gets out of proportion?
- What does my family do that annoys you?
- What might either of us NOT be willing to give up in the marriage?
- If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
- Does either of us have any doubts about the other’s commitment to the marriage?
- What do we need to do to ensure that we will survive any challenges we may face?
Wednesday, 10 January 2007
connected to the grand scheme of things
At any time in our journey through life, any of us can feel the need for friendship, special friends, companionship, the closeness of a warm body, the warmth of somebody who cares for and about us.
We can be in the most wonderful of relationships and still find moments of emptiness, or be without a lover or 'significant other' and yet be so at one with ourselves that we feel connected to the grand scheme of things; part of the wholness and wonder of everything.
In the midst of pleasure, there can be pain. In the midst of pain, we can still be delighted by a sunset, or a child's laughter, or fabulous sex with someone whom we might never see again.
The supportive words of a friend or even a stranger can give us new insights, raise our awareness and raise our game.
My beliefs and values ensue from my work over many years that has made it clear to me that, as long our relationships are based on the beleif that we must depend on others in order to feel good ourselves, the relationship is probably doomed.
Oh, it may last, but it will probably lack zest, vibrancy, joy and integrity.
That deadness, sadly and understandably, is a price that many people are willing to pay rather than be alone - not least because they don't know how to be alone or they don't like themselves very much!
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