emotional intelligence

Having emotional intelligence means being able to manage your own emotions effectively and being able to respond appropriately to the emotions of others. Managing your emotions does not mean denying or suppressing them. Try the Emotional Intelligence Quiz to see how well you handle your emotions and other people's.

Managing your emotions constructively - a few tips

Make a list of your negative emotions, what triggers them, how they impact your behaviour and what effect they have on others around you.
Without suppressing or denying them, strive to control the most negative effects on you and others.

To control your negative feelings, the first step is to acknowledge that two factors are involved - (1) some external provocation and (2) your reaction to it. If you cannot control the former, work on the latter. Convince yourself that you are free to choose how you react to external events. If you really work at it, you can see the funny side or the good in almost anything negative.
Writing down what is bugging you can make it easier to deal with it.

Separate what you can change from what you cannot change and make a plan to change what you can.
For things you cannot change, make a list of the positive aspects of the situation to balance your negative view.

Make a list of your positive emotions and figure out what prompts them. Channel your positive emotions into productive activity. For example, if you are most enthusiastic, energetic or optimistic in certain rooms or at certain times of the day or week or with particular people, try to make more use of such situations to get more done.

Ask others for feedback on how well you are managing your emotions.
Thank people for constructive feedback, try not to argue or defend yourself.
Monitor your reactions to situations and try to determine why you reacted as you did and how you could have reacted differently.
Responding appropriately to the emotions of others
Observe closely the emotional flavour of people's speech and behaviour.
If people are enthusiastic, try to respond in kind.
If they are down, show an appropriate level of empathy.
Notice disparities between words and body language and act accordingly.
Avoid over-reacting - getting angry just because someone else is angry.
Try not to let the negativity of others undermine your positive feelings.
Build on the enthusiasm, empathy or support of others instead of dismissing it.